As all you Yanks are well aware, yesterday was the 4th of July. For the first time in recent memory, I had the day off on a holiday. Hooray! I decided that instead of doing the many things around my apartment I had not been doing, like cleaning my bathroom and blogging, I would enjoy the day and do something fun. Zac was working in the evening, so my partner in crime would be missing in action. I set about for a friend to hang with. What happened next was a series of failed plans and missed connections. The girl I met on Craigslist rideshare bailed out on our hiking plans, my neighbor and I planned to chat but were not in the same place at the same time, Zac’s friend from school told me about a get-together that never materialized, and my work friend and I passively attempted to meet up but it didn’t happen. Finally, I went downtown with my friend from high school, Laney, and her fiance Diego.
The fireworks show was nice. Boy, San Francisco loves it’s fireworks. New Year’s Eve, Chinese New Year, 4th of July, any excuse to set things on fire in an artistic and surprisingly technologically advanced way. I didn’t know that you could do fireworks shaped like hearts and happy faces and three-dimensional cubes. Afterwards, we headed down to Fisherman’s Wharf for calamari and shrimp at the Crab Station, a place that looks like a dump but is actually delicious. I enjoyed hanging out with Laney and Diego but the people. . . Perhaps this is true in every country, but I hate the way Americans use holidays as excuses to act like total morons. It was super crowded, everyone was drunk, and many stupid people were setting off firecrackers in the crowd. In front of strollers with tiny babies and the like.
Anyways, my main point in writing today is neither to revel or bitch about the 4th of July. I need your advice, dear readers. With all of my failed plans from yesterday I think I need some help making friends.
I’ve lived in Los Angeles all my life, so I haven’t had to do this in a while. Granted, I’ve only been in SF for 7 months, so maybe it takes a while, but like I said I’m new to this.
Maybe the issue is that I’m not used to having to try. I have a twin sister, so I always had someone to hang out with at the ready. In elementary school and high school, I made friends quickly and kept the same ones for years. I think it’s also easier when you have to see the same people everyday for years and you are all stuck in a similar situation that people tend to make friends easily and quickly. I also went to summer camp for seven years, so you’d think I would be a pro at making friends, but not really. I almost always went with the same group of girls from my synagogue, so I had the crutch of them to lean on. I remember feeling awkward when I signed up for activities alone. I always had the balls to do it, but I always felt like “Maybe I should have done art with Molly instead of archery with all these weird boys” or whatever. Often I’d make friends in the final few days of camp, but then it was always rushed. I have this silly worry that it’ll be the same case this time. Years will go by with me lonely in San Francisco, then I’ll decide to move somewhere else and have a billion friends in the last few months that promise to keep in touch. The logical side of me knows this won’t happen, but our fears are not usually logical.
I also think a big problem is that I’ve been spending a huge amount of time at work at Sephora, and most of the people I work with are younger than myself. While I do get along with them, I find I mesh better with people my age or older. To use summer camp as another example, in my older years there I was a counselor in training (CIT) and then a counselor. I was still in high school, but always got along with the older counselors. One of my closest friends from those years was the guy in charge of the ropes course, even though he was in his ’30’s and I was only 15.
I hope the problem isn’t me! I make a great friend. I’m loyal and fun. I have a weird sense of humour and will make you laugh. I’m a good shoulder to cry on and give fairly good advice. I have good taste in music, books and movies and am down for adventure. Maybe it just takes a while to get to know me. I put on a good front, but secretly can be a little insecure. Like right now, for instance.
What do you think readers? Do you make friends easily or do you share my dilemma? Any tips and tricks on how to meet people and make new friends? I am trying to seek out the theater scene and considering trying an art or photography class, so it could be that better things are around the corner. But for now, I feel like I could use a little advice.
Good Day and Happy Travels,