Traveling Mo Seeks New Friends in The City By the Bay

As all you Yanks are well aware, yesterday was the 4th of July.  For the first time in recent memory, I had the day off on a holiday.  Hooray!  I decided that instead of doing the many things around my apartment I had not been doing, like cleaning my bathroom and blogging, I would enjoy the day and do something fun.  Zac was working in the evening, so my partner in crime would be missing in action.  I set about for a friend to hang with.  What happened next was a series of failed plans and missed connections.  The girl I met on Craigslist rideshare bailed out on our hiking plans, my neighbor and I planned to chat but were not in the same place at the same time, Zac’s friend from school told me about a get-together that never materialized, and my work friend and I passively attempted to meet up but it didn’t happen.  Finally, I went downtown with my friend from high school, Laney, and her fiance Diego.

The fireworks show was nice.  Boy, San Francisco loves it’s fireworks.  New Year’s Eve, Chinese New Year, 4th of July, any excuse to set things on fire in an artistic and surprisingly technologically advanced way.  I didn’t know that you could do fireworks shaped like hearts and happy faces and three-dimensional cubes.  Afterwards, we headed down to Fisherman’s Wharf for calamari and shrimp at the Crab Station, a place that looks like a dump but is actually delicious.  I enjoyed hanging out with Laney and Diego but the people. . . Perhaps this is true in every country, but I hate the way Americans use holidays as excuses to act like total morons.  It was super crowded, everyone was drunk, and many stupid people were setting off firecrackers in the crowd.  In front of strollers with tiny babies and the like.

Anyways, my main point in writing today is neither to revel or bitch about the 4th of July.  I need your advice, dear readers.  With all of my failed plans from yesterday I think I need some help making friends.

I’ve lived in Los Angeles all my life, so I haven’t had to do this in a while.  Granted, I’ve only been in SF for 7 months, so maybe it takes a while, but like I  said I’m new to this.

Maybe the issue is that I’m not used to having to try.  I have a twin sister, so I always had someone to hang out with at the ready.  In elementary school and high school, I made friends quickly and kept the same ones for years.  I think it’s also easier when you have to see the same people everyday for years and you are all stuck in a similar situation that people tend to make friends easily and quickly.  I also went to summer camp for seven years, so you’d think I would be a pro at making friends, but not really.  I almost always went with the same group of girls from my synagogue, so I had the crutch of them to lean on.  I remember feeling awkward when I signed up for activities alone.  I always had the balls to do it, but I always felt like “Maybe I should have done art with Molly instead of archery with all these weird boys” or whatever.  Often I’d make friends in the final few days of camp, but then it was always rushed.  I have this silly worry that it’ll be the same case this time.  Years will go by with me lonely in San Francisco, then I’ll decide to move somewhere else and have a billion friends in the last few months that promise to keep in touch.  The logical side of me knows this won’t happen, but our fears are not usually logical.

I also think a big problem is that I’ve been spending a huge amount of time at work at Sephora, and most of the people I work with are younger than myself.  While I do get along with them, I find I mesh better with people my age or older.  To use summer camp as another example, in my older years there I was a counselor in training (CIT) and then a counselor.  I was still in high school, but always got along with the older counselors.  One of my closest friends from those years was the guy in charge of the ropes course, even though he was in his ’30’s and I was only 15.

I hope the problem isn’t me!  I make a great friend.  I’m loyal and fun.  I have a weird sense of humour and will make you laugh.  I’m a good shoulder to cry on and give fairly good advice.  I have good taste in music, books and movies and am down for adventure.  Maybe it just takes a while to get to know me.  I put on a good front, but secretly can be a little insecure.  Like right now, for instance.

What do you think readers?  Do you make friends easily or do you share my dilemma?  Any tips and tricks on how to meet people and make new friends?  I am trying to seek out the theater scene and considering trying an art or photography class, so it could be that better things are around the corner.  But for now, I feel like I could use a little advice.

Good Day and Happy Travels,

Mo

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7 thoughts on “Traveling Mo Seeks New Friends in The City By the Bay

  1. clownonfire

    Mo,
    Life is good! I wrestled with WordPress, and I won. I’m receiving your notifications!

    I’d love to visit SF. My father-in-law lives in Sausalito, which would be the perfect reason to book a flight, right? If only he would invite me… Should I take it personal, you think?
    Le Clown

  2. First, thanks for liking my post on Black Box Warnings. Regarding friends. This is something I’ve struggled with almost all my life. I have a handful of very good friends who’ve been in my life since high school/college. I don’t see them very often because we’re all so busy. I made some excellent friends in grad school recently but, again, we’re all busy. I’ve tended to make a new friend from the places I’ve worked that has stayed a friend after I left. You have to keep putting yourself out there. Are there classes you’d like to take? That helps and can maybe further your career goals. Just a thought.

    1. Thanks for reading! Most of my good friends are from high school, and most of them I was also able to see on a regular basis since we all stayed in, or came back to LA. I’m on the hunt for a class. I’ve always been wanting to take more art classes, I’m just poor so need to find one that costs little to no money!

  3. People here in NYC have the same problem, Mo. You’d think in cities like NY or SF that it would be easy to make friends because there are so many people, but it actually makes it more difficult. But you’re from LA, you probably know that already. Anyway, it’s difficult but not impossible. Do you belong to a synagogue there? A lot of my friends have a whole network of buddies through their synagogues/churches. A lot of my friends are from work but I’ve met some through other friends, some through random encounters at events, stuff like that. Seven months isn’t that long, especially if you’ve been working so many hours and haven’t had time to go out much. Give it some time. Or, move to NYC and we can hang. I *love* makeup!

    1. Thanks for the words of encouragement! I know, what is it about these cities? I also blame the internet age, but I love to curse the internet for bringing about most of my problems. But it is my savior at the same time, for if not I would not have great friends that I’ve never met like you!

  4. That is a tough one, Mo. I admire you all the more for moving to an unfamiliar joint without a built-in social group like school or a new job. Even those are tough though. I guess I’ve met some nice new people through Couchsurfing (foreigners and locals too) and I know others who have bonded with people met at the gym. It is a question for our generation though. I feel like our parents’ generation met people at bars and such and there was a lot lower threshold for social interactions. Keep us posted on your progress and what works out!

    1. I kind of thought that work would be a built in social group, but it’s not going quite as I thought. Everyone there has their own lives and stuff already in order, so don’t want to go out on a limb for someone do. I did make an account today on Meetup, and found a couple of groups that look cool, so hopefully that leads to better things!

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